Stupidest pick up line? When the word stupidest comes into play I automatically think of my brother. Don’t get me wrong I love my brother. He is 7 years younger than me and my kids call him ‘Uncle Dude’ That alone gives you an idea of just who he is.

He is the type of person that chaos seems to find, he has found himself in some odd situations. My Father recounts the story that he was sitting reading the paper one day when the police pull into the driveway. This can never be good and it almost always involves my brother. He sighed and said his usual, ’doodle’ while running a hand through his hair. Surprisingly my Father is not bald for all the stressed out hair pulling he has done courtesy of my brother and my sister and I.

The policeman pulled a mangled piece of metal that used to be my brothers bike out of the trunk of his car, set it on the lawn then opened the door and let my brother out of the back seat. Apparently my brother ran a stop sign. He was charged with failing to stop and the poor lady who hit him was so thankful that he wasn’t killed that she offered to tell the insurance company that she hit a deer.

Uncle Dude has a sidekick in the form of his best friend, Pete. When they were picking up a friend at the Toronto Airport Pete decided he would dress up as Snow White and proceeded to do cartwheels through the airport. I should mention that his friend is a Mohawk Indian, long hair, brown eyes and deep olive skin. Keep in mind this was long before 9-11, before they would shoot you for carrying 6oz. of hand cream and wearing an underwire bra.

Let’s just say there are lots of stories about Uncle Dude and his friend Pete.
I have some suspicions that Uncle Dude has used some doosies as pick up lines. There is only one that I can confirm because I witnessed it first hand.

I met my brother for a drink after work one day and while enjoying a frosty mug of draft (keep in mind we are Canadian so there would be a few mugs) and some conversation the most beautiful buxom blonde came floating by leaving a lovely flower scent trailing after her. I knew at that moment I had lost him, could have been that he was drooling and now looking past me, bottom line is I knew I didn’t want to cramp his style.

I said to him, “Why don’t you go and say hello?”

He shook his head and snorted, “No, no”

I rolled my eyes. “I have to leave in a couple minutes so go ahead” I punctuated this by taking my keys out of my purse.

He was adamant he wasn’t going to pursue anything, then proceeded to order another beer. I laughed, said good bye and as I was walking towards the door I turned in time to see my brother move towards the blonde pulling something out of his pocket. When he reached her I watched him flick open the item he had pulled from his pocket and his lips mouthed the unmistakable words, “Pez?”

Submitted by Melinda